Your Thoughts and Feelings Are Not Always Worth Your Energy
Should you always trust your gut? Have you ever had a thought or feeling that completely derailed your day? Maybe it was a disturbing thought that left you questioning yourself or a wave of anxiety that convinced you something was wrong. It’s a common experience, especially for those navigating OCD and anxiety. But here’s the truth: not all your thoughts and feelings are worthy of your attention and energy.
Confused? Let’s break it down.
Thoughts and Feelings Are Real — But They’re Not Always True
The thoughts and feelings you experience are absolutely real. You really feel anxious, scared, or disturbed. You really think those intrusive thoughts. But just because something is occurring inside your mind or body doesn’t automatically mean the stories, interpretations, or meanings you attach to those experiences are based in reality.
When we assign meaning to every thought or feeling, we can get trapped in debilitating cycles of anxiety. Here’s how it works:
Intrusive Thought: “What if I get really mad and can’t control myself and hurt the baby?”
The thought itself is not the problem. It’s just a thought. The problem begins when we start analyzing the thought:
- Why did I have that thought?
- Does this mean I’m dangerous?
- What if I really could lose control?
- What do I need to do to prevent this from happening?
Before you know it, you’re spiraling — convinced you’re a terrible person and engaging in compulsions like constant reassurance-seeking, avoiding your baby, or mentally reviewing every interaction to make sure you didn’t hurt them. The thought that was simply a flicker in your brain has now turned into your own personal horror story — written, directed, and produced by your mind.
You Are Not Your Thoughts — They’re Just Data
One of the most life-changing lessons in OCD and anxiety treatment is this: Your thoughts are not facts — they are data. And not all data is important or relevant.
Imagine your brain as a broken motion sensor on a front porch. The sensor is supposed to alert you when someone is at the door. But instead, it goes off every time a leaf blows by. OCD and anxiety make your brain’s threat detection system too sensitive. Your mind is constantly firing off false alarms.
If you acted on every single false alarm, you’d be running to the door all day long. But when you learn that the motion sensor is faulty, you can let the alarm go off without checking every time.
The same principle applies to your intrusive thoughts. Just because your brain sends out an alarm (“What if I hurt my baby?”) doesn’t mean there’s any real danger. The real work is in learning to let the alarm ring without responding.
What About Feelings? Can I Trust My Gut?
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Trust your gut.” But when it comes to anxiety, that advice can be misleading.
OCD and anxiety frequently trip your body’s threat response wire, making it nearly impossible to tell the difference between real danger and false alarms. Your brain reacts to asking someone to move in the grocery store the same way it would to being chased by an axe-wielding serial killer. Your body floods with adrenaline, and the sensation of something is wrong feels very real — even when there’s no actual danger.
When you act on that gut feeling by avoiding situations or performing compulsions, your brain registers that avoidance as evidence that there was real danger. It’s like your mind saying, “Phew! Good thing we didn’t ask that person to move — we surely would have died.” And now your brain files that avoidance away as a safety strategy to use next time.
The wild part? You often know there’s no real danger — but it feels almost impossible not to act on the feeling.
Learning to Ignore the False Alarms
The key to healing from OCD and anxiety is learning to treat false alarms as false alarms — even when they feel incredibly real. This means:
- Allowing intrusive thoughts to come and go without analyzing them
- Resisting the urge to assign meaning to every uncomfortable feeling
- Practicing response prevention by not engaging in compulsions
- Reminding yourself that not all data is important
Rather than letting thoughts and feelings guide our behaviors, we are going to consult what’s really important in our lives — our values. Values act as our internal compass, helping us choose actions that align with the kind of person we want to be, rather than what feels comfortable or safe in the moment. When fear tries to hijack your decisions, ask yourself: What would my values have me do right now? Would my values tell me to avoid, seek reassurance, or engage in compulsions — or would they guide me toward connection, courage, and presence?
It’s not easy. Ignoring a false alarm feels deeply irresponsible at first. But every time you choose to let the alarm ring without responding, you’re rewiring your brain — teaching it that not every thought or feeling requires action.
You Are Not Your Thoughts — You Are the Observer
You are not the scary stories your brain writes. You are the observer watching them play out. And with time, practice, and support, you can learn to let those stories play in the background while you carry on with what truly matters.
Your thoughts and feelings are real. But they are not always true.
Not all data is important. And you — the observer — get to choose what’s worth your energy.
Let your values lead the way.
If you’re struggling to let your values guide you rather than your thoughts, feelings, or fear — you’re not alone. Our Maternal Anxiety and OCD Program is designed specifically to help moms navigate these overwhelming cycles and rediscover a life led by what truly matters. Healing is possible, and you can be well again. Text us via our homepage — we’d be honored to walk alongside you on your journey.
Or if you feel like your child may be struggling with anxiety like symptoms associated with conditions like:
- Separation anxiety
- Social anxiety
- Generalized anxiety
- Fears and phobias
- Panic disorder and Agoraphobia
- Selective mutism
- Obsessive-compulsive disorders
Join our waitlist for a parent specific class series aimed to treat children and adolescents with anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Thsese classes include evidence based instruciton to help you hellp your children feel less anxious and function better following treatment. Join our waitlist here!
